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Just do you.

Our family has been struggling.

We have been struggling with trying to make people in our immediate life understand the lifestyle that we are striving for.

We do not want or need to live conventionally.
We are striving for a life filled with togetherness, raising children who are kind, generous and honest.

We want a life unconnected from technology, normal civilization and the chaos of the world.

It is hard to understand for some and that is okay. We do not expect you to understand we just want you to acknowledge what we are doing for ourselves.

Some people send their children to traditional school, we are not.
Some breast feed for a few short months or not at all, and I am almost breastfeeding a toddler.
Some people find joy in shopping for new items every week, we buy second hand.
Some people invest in daycare, we do not believe in having our children raised by someone else.
Some people believe in feeding their children what they desire, we believe in limited sugar and whole foods.

This is our personal decision and I just want YOU to know that we support you in everything your heart and aspirations are for your own family.

People will always question you regardless of what you do, so just do YOU my friends.

Make the decisions that are necessary for your own family, regardless of what you believe in,  you are doing the best you can and I see that.

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This is us, this is Backwoods.

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Purpose

Have you ever been stuck on what your purpose in life is?

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If so, you are not alone.

I am striving to become more transparent in my life’s journey and with that comes sharing my heart even more.

I was stuck in an unhealthy mindset for sometime.

I watch so many individuals in my immediate life struggle and to be honest for the last year or so I was there as well.

I go to a place in mind where I feel as though once I’ve accomplished, completed or gotten through something everything will be better.

I will be on top of the world and no one can touch me… this is a mindset and not reality.

Life always slaps you in the face, it’s just how you decide to deal with it.

Awhile ago I was untouchable.
I had the job, the husband, the ranch, the lifestyle but still no baby and then I was fired. One bad thing after another happened to us and I watched people laugh at our trials and tribulations.
Life always does this funny thing of testing you to find out exactly what your purpose here is.

& then a shift happened.

I found out I was finally pregnant with our first baby and I knew that everything that happened, was meant to be.

I am a procrastinator by nature, I grew up in a family where our Dad worked shift when we were little and we obtained a schedule of staying up late and sleeping throughout the morning.
In my adult life, this is still true to me.

I do my best work at night, always.

My focus for this year was to to be more purposeful, to procrastinate less and live with more intention.

I have to be honest… as I usually am. I’ve been doing really well. Our house is becoming more minimal, we are living more on purpose but I’m still procrastinating.

The taxes are still not turned in, my lecture for a seminar that I’m speaking at in 3 weeks is still not complete, I have yet to obtain my dress for a very prestigious event I have next weekend and my house is in sub-par conditions.

Because it seems my reality on time is conflicted. I take on far too much for the mere 24 hours I have in the day.

But do you know what… That’s okay.

Life goes on and I’m human as are we all.

Lately life has looked completely different for us and I thought I would share it with you.

I always thought I would be a stay-at-home mama for Oaks entire life, but I was handed an opportunity.

An opportunity to live out one of my passions and that passion is working with teens. I recently accepted a position working at our local teen center and I couldn’t be more grateful. Working on days when Chad is home, so Oak is still raised entirely by her parents…it’s incredible. It’s giving this mama a part of herself back. It’s making me want to be better and do better for my family and giving me my sense of purpose back outside the home.

As everything happens in my life far beyond the time frame that I had laid out for myself this is no different,  just like finally being blessed with our first baby.

Life is unexplained and I find that just like the excruciating pain that all mothers go through in childbirth, such is life. You have to live out the shittiest and most trying of times to finally get the prize at the end. We need to stop focusing on the negatives of each circumstance and instead focus on the prize yet to come.

And the prize my friends, is finding your purpose.

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My purpose right now in this moment is: wife, mama, ranch, wellness warrior, teen facilitator.

Focus on what matters.

You’re not stuck, what can you do to pull yourself out of this circumstance?

The positive and not the negative, your mindset is everything.
Set yourself up for success, you’re the only one that can.

You’ve got this.

Purpose.

xox

Laur

I’m not from here.

Moving to a new community is one thing. Moving to a new province away from everything you’ve ever known is something entirely different. You integrate. You become a part of a new family and circle of friends. You adapt.

Its years down the road when you get out of your teenage mentality that you  realize that everything you left behind was and is so precious.

I had this mentality before but it really hit home for me this year. After spending years coping and telling myself that I was entirely happy, and don’t get me wrong I am… I realized how much I was really missing out on.

I had the opportunity to go home this year for a longer period of time than I have in ages. I got to experience my niece and nephew for three solid weeks as they grew and changed. I made besties with my soon to be three year old niece and also had the chance to discipline her for the first time ever… as she hammered her parents brand new dry wall. She hated me for a few hours and then we rekindled our bosom relationship. My parents are beautiful people, some of the good ones. They change and grow each and every time I see them and coming from a child’s perspective who doesn’t have the opportunity to be around everyday it’s remarkable. My older sister and her husband are building a beautiful life for their family.  Their life is something to look up too. Living minimally and full of purpose, it’s what everyone should strive for.

I had the opportunity to watch my very own baby girl meet all of the people that influenced my life in significant ways. I watched her build a relationship with her grandparents and her aunts and uncles. I watched her grow out of an entire clothing size and learn to roll the opposite way.

Its literally remarkable what can happen in three weeks.

The most surreal moment of my entire trip involved my little sister. She’s beautiful. She’s working a job and working towards an amazing future for herself. She’s passionate and real. She brought so many things back to me. One night as we were going through her bedroom and making boxes to donate, I was in her closet and I could tell she was on edge. When I pulled out a self portrait of myself that I had painted in high school off the top of her closet I realized her upheaval. She quickly responded “when you moved away, I took a bunch of stuff from your room so I could feel closer to you.”

In that moment I laughed it off, but then I went to bed and cried, because at the time I didn’t realize how badly I affected everyone around me by moving away. Seeing the child that I left behind in that beautiful woman’s face was a newsflash. She’s changed and so I have I.

Being away from my family and everything I ever knew is hard. And it’s equally as hard adapting to a new life and community.  Trying to make and build relationships is a daily struggle. But this is a choice I made.

Just know in your heart if you’re struggling that it will be okay. Growth and change are crucial in life.

I’m not from here, but I’m trying. 14212797_1033781863403379_2456946400405501180_n

Xox

Laur

 

 

 

Guarded.

There was a millennial living in a world where people have lost so many skills and the lack of needing to learn and pass on information is evident.

This millennial is me.

I too, went through a faze where the knowledge that I possessed was like a sacred territory to me and I felt as if I kept  it within my being that it somehow made me better or smarter than others… but really that frame of mind was only inhibiting me from building relationships and growing community.

I was naive.

I kept stacks of books that I had already read and would not and will not read again upon my shelves because I thought they would show people “just how much knowledge I really had.”

I was guarded. I had put up walls and felt a sense of security in the need to be the expert within my chosen interests.

I know that I possess a multitude of different knowledge and interests many other folks may not have,  but they too have sacred thoughts, knowledge and ideations that I wish encompassed my being.

I have come to a revelation lately that even as worldly or cultured that I may be at my age, I need to keep learning and growing through others.

This is where all millenials fail.

You DO NOT know it all.

Yes, you are very worldly in your 20 something years because of the multitude of experiences you have already withheld; living through the techniclogical advancements and the 90’s, but you do not possess the world.

I have found,  as of recent that learning and growing through others of all ages is the best thing that a person can do for their well-being and sense of self.

Letting down my walls is a revelation.

I am thankful for the knowledge bestowed upon me; the homesteading, sustainability and child raising skills I am learning on the daily. I am thankful for individuals that are duplicatable and open to sharing their life’s work.

I am no longer guarded.

I am open and ready for what the universe has in store for me and I hope you are as well.

There is and only will be, one you.

Let down those walls, open your mind, share your thoughts and become unguarded.

Xox

Laur.

ps. Thankful

 

Life is a Curious thing.

IMG_0772Life is a beautiful, curious thing.

Some things always stay the same no matter what may be happening in ones life. The sun always rises and seasons always come and go but people change.

A year and a few months ago our world had crashed, we went through a trying time of job loss, oilfield recession and yet the one thing that we had been working towards for years still hadn’t happened.

And then through the heartache and pain something changed and we found out that we were finally expecting our very own tiny miracle.

The test finally read positive and our lives were changed forever.

The aching hearts and the missing piece to our life on the ranch was finally filled.

We started focusing on improving our health and living each day as though it was filled with promise for a better future.

Fast forward a few months and we found out that, that tiny glimpse of something better was-a girl. Although I could tell Chad had his hopes set on a boy, I knew a little girl was just what he and I both needed.

Watching your family evolve through the hardest of times into a life filled with promise and hope is the most surreal thing.

I watched my husband grow from a boy into a man destined to provide for his family through love, support and the willingness to succeed and educate himself through whatever fell across his path.

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Fast forward and we are in a hospital room, 36 hours after my water had broke with Chad by my side and our moms waiting for the news.  I was determined that this little girl was coming into this world naturally and even on the verge of giving up, I still had my fight because life is a beautiful, curious thing.

I used every ounce of strength in my being to make sure I provided her with a healthy existence in my body and wanted the same for her as she took her first breath.

She finally came and was set on my chest and I cried, not because I was sad but because the thing I wanted most in life was finally here.

 

Her name is Oakley.

 

The nurses took her from me as the labour and delivery room turned to chaos. They handed my tiny bundle to her Daddy as shouts rang out of needing help. I was hemorrhaging and the blood loss was severe.

I had tears in my eyes and the only thing I could think was “my family is finally complete, with every other loss this year please do not take this from me.”

I looked over at Chad as I was surrounded by a medical team and saw fear in eyes that said “don’t leave me I cannot do this alone.” All I could think was “we’ve come this far and worked so hard, I’m not leaving you now my love.”

I was stabilized.

I am here.

And through the chaos, fear and undeniable love, we knew everything would be okay.

Days later my mom told me that as the grandmas were patiently waiting for the arrival of our tiny miracle, there was another family on our ward.

They were sisters, who kept occupying the white bleached halls of the hospital as well. They were tired and had tear stricken faces as everyone in our anxious party did. They were waiting for something to happen just like us, but it was different. They were waiting for their mom to finally let go.

They stayed in that bright lit atmosphere waiting, holding her hand,  scared and inconsolable just as mine and Chads mama’s did.

Upon hearing this story I broke down and cried because I knew as this woman took her last breath, our baby girl took her first.

There is an old saying that’s states as one life comes into this world  one must leave to make room for the next.

I am thankful every single day for the pain and emotion this family went through because I know their mama’s life made room for our little girl.

We got to leave the hospital with our new tiny miracle in tow and those sisters left with promises to do well in their lives on their lips.

We are now living our lives through their story because as struggle arises we still have one another.

We know that our baby girl is now living her journey through someone who she doesn’t and will not ever get the opportunity to meet footsteps’.

She is beautiful and her name is Oakley.

Live each day with passion, forgiveness and the willingness to succeed.

Because my friends, life is a curious thing.

This is us, this is BackwoodsIMG_0770