A Letter to my Baby

My darling baby,

I have been struggling with the thought that very soon our days alone together will no longer be just you and me but you, me and our new baby.
I say “our new baby” because she is not just mine or Daddy’s but yours as well.
I feel as though you have grown up in the last few months, quicker than I ever wanted.
Your time as the only baby was cut short but not because you aren’t enough for us but because you are the world to us and we want to share every ounce of your being with those who are to come after you. We want to give you- as siblings, the gift of time.

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You have seen things in our home change, my belly grow bigger and my lap grow smaller. You have become obsessed with everything baby related and make it your priority to kiss and love on your babies as soon as the sun is awake each and everyday just as your Daddy and I do to you. You are so nurturing, sweet and kind, which are all attributes we had hoped you would possess by the time our new baby arrives.

I watch every little thing you do in awe.
You are so incredibly smart and I’m not just saying that because I’m bias as you are mine.  I am saying this because you are a beautiful old soul filled with compassion for all things living. The way you care for your animals at your age is undeniably the most humbling thing to witness as a parent and brings feelings of ease over your mama.

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You are our rainbow baby after years and years of praying for you. Our time alone together may be cut short but I am going to remind you each and everyday just how incredibly special you are to me. You are going to be the best big sister, friend and teacher. Experiencing you transition into this new role is going to be a beautiful highlight of my life.

I am scared, anxious and undeniably nervous but I am ready and I believe that you feel the same. Everything will be okay.

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You never realize how much you can love until you become a mother, I experienced it with you and my love grows each and everyday. I guess my biggest fear is surrounded around how I can possibly love even more? I am proved a fool each and everyday as my heart grows with each moment we spend together. I want to thank-you for loving me through my phases of learning and all of my mistakes. I am so proud of your patience.

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There is still so much I have to learn about motherhood and life but everything I have learned so far in this season is thanks to you, my beautiful girl.  Many of the doubts I had surrounding motherhood faded away throughout this last year and a half of getting to know you. Cold winter nights with you in our bed, breathing in your sweet baby smell and being surrounded by the calm. Your smile, infectious laugh and cheeky personality light up each and everyday. Having the honour to view the world through your curious eyes filled with wonder has been one of the utmost best experiences of my life. You are so filled with adventure.

This season of life has been trying. Being a toddler is not easy nor is being a Mom to a toddler but I think we are doing a pretty good job of navigating along this journey. Each tear you shed, frustrated yell and unintelligible need is overshadowed by you dancing to country oldies, clapping for yourself, giving a million wet kisses and wanting to do everything I do. Your zest for life makes me feel more alive than I ever have.

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We are so incredibly blessed to have you in our lives.
So as we transition into this new life, let us cherish each and every moment as a family of three. Know that we are on this journey together and you will always be “our baby”.

All my love,

Mama

 

2 Comments on “A Letter to my Baby

  1. Dear Laurie:
    I would like to commend you for your writing. When Oakley grows up she will realize how lucky she is. With the invention of computers you are able to write letters to the world. When I was a young Mother it was never thought of to write how one feels and tell the whole world about it. I would have loved to have been able to tell Tammy how I felt about her and Janet as well. Thankyou for your letters,I love reading them. Love from Great grandma ❤️

    Like

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