Quite often- as a human you question your identity and the things you do day to day wondering if it’s what you were meant to do and simply- if it’s enough.
Since becoming a stay at home mama and ranch wife I find myself questioning myself and every single thing I do… multiple times a day.
My mind is always turning in the broken moments where the baby is feeding or sleeping, where I’m filling water bowls, washing floors or ultimately washing eggs.
The stolen moments in my new existence as “Mom”often take me back to who I was before Mom, pondering on what I want to make this life into. There are so many dreams, so many plans and so much to look forward too and grow through.
Ive struggled lately with reality and what this world is bringing forth. I know I want to raise my children like I do my animals- free range and in a stress free environment but I struggle with the frivolous nature of our world and wonder how I’m going to shelter my children from the storm. I want them to have dreams and ideas of their own, I want them to be believers and have undeniable imaginations without feeling like they consistently need to keep up to their neighbor. I want them to be educated in all aspects of life and ultimately be NICE humans.
This is a new world and not one that I was raised in.
Ive come to the conclusion that as a couple and as a family unit- we can only do our best and the best that I hope for my husband and children is contentment in all life has to offer us.
I always thought that life would be better when we had more money, more land, nicer vehicles, better jobs, nicer clothes, a bigger house! But what Ive come to realize is… I am most content, sheltered from the storm, surrounded by the ones I love, washing eggs at 2 a.m. in our 600 sq ft home.
Im content, doing enough and my tiny human will be just fine.