Thank God I’m a Country Kid.

Chad and I often laugh at stories of things we did as kids on the farm.
Thankful for all the moments for if we lived in town, there would be so many life lessons unlearned and so many memories stolen.
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We put together a short list of advice from farm kids, for farm kids.

  1. Licking salt blocks to test them for your animals is normal.
  2. When the goose or killer chickens are coming pedal/run faster.
  3. Drinking from the garden hose and running around barefoot builds immunity.
  4. The grainery will EAT your hot pink rubber boots if your playing in there when you’re not supposed too.
  5. ALWAYS bang on the side of the grainery to let the rats know your coming in…fore if you don’t you may get the honor of having one scurry up your arm out of the grain bag.
  6. Don’t elastic your baby sisters feet into the stirrups just because she wants to be like you… JUST DON’T.
  7. $20.00 to pick a large garbage bag full of burrs is a rip off…Prickly buggers are torture.
  8. Don’t ever suspect that a large purple/gray grape looking thing in the grass is actually a grape… it’s a woodtick whom is probably filled to the brim with your favorite canine friends blood.
  9. Thank your Dad daily for not selling you barrel horse/best friend.
  10. YES! cow S*#T is the best smell in the world.
  11. Playing by the silage pile is not allowed.
  12. Don’t ever drive in your Dad’s hayfield.
  13. Horses teach you much more than any quad, dirt bike or trike ever could.
  14. Don’t EVER leave the gates open or you’ll receive a 6a.m. horses running down the road wake up call.
  15. Always check your tack before you go to round-up livestock…You’ll thank yourself.
  16. Picking rocks out of the arena is a blessing, at least you have an arena.
  17. Constantly telling your Dad “SAND IN PEN” will not get you sand any faster.
  18. Don’t fight with your siblings on the way to a rodeo…your Dad WILL turn around.
  19. Spending time visiting with the feeder steers will NOT save them from the transport… No matter how much YOUUUU LOOOOOVE THEM! (They are food.)
  20. Want to see something funny…Tell your Dad you’re a vegetarian. HAHAHA
  21. Hay bale jumping really is a sport.
  22. Bottle calves in the bathroom and colostrum in the sink…Totally normal.
  23. Don’t offer to hold the lamp during a c-section if you don’t like blood.
  24. Don’t let stalls build up, you will thank yourself.
  25. Learning to drive before the age of 8 is a given.
  26. In October when a duckling hatches, don’t try to hide it from your parents when you bring it in the house… They are not only going to let you keep it in your room, but they are going to upgrade that little guy from a cardboard box to a large playpen suite:)
  27. Don’t let your foot off the clutch too fast, if your legs arent long enough to reach the brake at the same time.
  28. Phone books work the best to add weight to the lawn mower seat if your not heavy enough.
  29. Using all of your Mom’s dish soap on the trampoline is more than okay, it makes the best slip n’ slide.
  30. Getting a “kick in the arse, with a frozen boot” is only a statement.
  31. If you’re a girl… don’t worry, your Dad doesn’t really have a testicle collection in the basement.
  32. The spruce trees your Mom just transplanted do NOT need pruning.
  33. When your parents tell you not to lick the icicles off the fence… DO IT, I dare you.
  34. Don’t use your Dads good tools to cut chicken wire for your duck pen, he won’t appreciate it.
  35. Cowboys and Cowgirls DO cry, but will be told to COWBOY UP. SUCK IT UP. etc.
  36. Always make sure the tailgate is down when unhooking the trailer.
  37. Always load your own tack… someone else might forget your headstall.
  38. Your meat chickens will cripple if you leave the dog food out, THEY HAVE “0” SELF CONTROL.
  39. When your Dad says you can feed some scraps to the dogs after he brings home the cut and wrapped beef… make sure the package doesn’t say “T-BONE”.
  40. When the bonfire won’t light, grab a jerry can.
  41. Sitting in the tractor bucket makes life a lot easier.
  42. A farmer’s tan is something to be proud of.
  43. Air conditioning… What’s that?
  44. When you’re talking steer’s, bulls, heifers, fillies, mares, studs… people from town WILL look at you like you have four eyes and buck teeth.
  45. Tossing square bales is the “COOL KIDS” gym.
  46. Get married. You will always have someone to fix fence with.
  47. Baler twine can fix almost everything.
  48. Don’t trust anyone when they tell you the electric fencer is off…
  49. If someone asks you if the electric fencer is off, always say YES and try not to laugh.
  50. Don’t pass out while getting chased by a cow.
  51. When checking cows make sure that said heifer doesn’t have a calf before getting too close, if she does make sure a bale feeder or fence is a hop, skip and jump away.
  52. If your rubber boot gets stuck in the mud… Wait for someone to give you a hand…
  53. Don’t lock your Dad in the chicken pen, chances are there is probably a bat in there… Your Dad is probably terrified of bats.
  54. While holding the gates for the tractor to go through…pay ATTENTION.
  55. When your Mom drops the chickens off somewhere, expect that they will come back dead.
  56. For Sarah Goray: When the bull gets out make sure to notify the neighbors.
  57. When sorting cows with Dad make sure your out of frozen cow turd tossing reach.
  58. Take your time. Doing things properly the first time is ingenious when it comes to time management.

In closing NEVER take a single day for granted on the farm.
The farm is what teaches you responsibility, efficiency, work ethic, independence, creativity/imagination & problem solving; but most of all it teaches you appreciation.
Appreciation for the things you have, for rain, for food, for water, for sunshine, for green grass, and the list could go on and on.
Appreciation is PRICELESS and for that we’re thankful.

Laurie I PHone March 2014 190

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2 thoughts on “Thank God I’m a Country Kid.

  1. Love this list. Thank you for linking up to the Country Fair Blog Party. I hope you will come back and link up again. I can’t wait to see what else you have to write about.

    Like

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